I want to go swimming. Really badly. But I'm too hung up on my body issues. I haven't even sat on a beach with my top off since I was 17, so the idea of me in swimming trunks seems completely nuts. I have gone swimming in the meantime- but I always got up at 6am in Dublin to make sure I was the first, and, more often than not, the only swimmer in the pool.
Over the glorious sunny weekend, I did pack a pair of swimming shorts and a towel, only to sit looking longingly at the water. It didn't help that I was with my skinny friend. He asked me why I didn't go in the water. When I joked that I felt like a whale, he took the joke and ran with it- joking about how he would try to convince people to let me ashore and that they didn't need to send me back to sea and so on. (And it was funny at the time, but it just kind of hurts now). This morning I am craving the water.
So here's the plan. I am going swimming. I will take my top off in public and head just a teeny tiny bit offshore. And I will do it the next possible opportunity. Sunday in fact. Even if it is raining.
Last night, I did a really intense chest and triceps workout. The kind that leaves your arms all floaty light but burning afterwards. I also allowed myself a treat at bedtime- some smoked salmon on rice crackers. Its not the worst in the world, but I think it took me out of calories deficit, even with the exercise thrown in. I may be making this into too big a thing in my head, but I'm so convinced I'm going to make a weight gain by the end of the week that I think I'm probably in sabotage mode.
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7 comments:
Good man!
I know how you feel. I went swimming pretty much everyday for a while when I was about 40 kgs heavier. It's hard the first few times but then you just stop worrying about it.
GREAT PLAN.
for me, and this is just my .02, I wouldnt do it in the first try Im sure.
it would take a few trips.
a few visits.
some "shirt lifted half way while I looked around to be sure NO ONE WAS STARING & Id yank it back down..."
Id need to set myself up for success and plan that, after a few more trips, ID DO IT!!
thoughts?
MizFit
This breaks my heart :-(
At least I, as a woman, don't have to worry about going topless at the beach, I'd be arrested for that sort of carry on.
[And quietly, I'd be hurt too if a friend of mine carried on with the whale thing.]
Just go do it, swimming is such a great feeling, and such a good, low-impact exercise.
We've all been where you are, we know how tough it is, but honestly, you are thinking a lot more about your body than other people are. And anyone who is having negative thoughts about you is really not worth worrying about.
Do it, you won't regret it!
It boggles my mind that so many people (men and women) who weigh less than I do have this issue.
I have a female friend who is a curvy size 12 / 14 who thinks she is *too* big to fit in a cosi and hates her body.
Am I the only size 28 obese person who doesn't give a fig?
Well, I dont .... if I'm in the pool in my whale sized cosi it's perfectly obvious I'm there in order to try and lose weight (also because I like swimming).
AISHCHAI (and everyone else): just get over yourselves !!!
If this big 300 lb whale can do it, then so can you!
Just do it.
I know where you're coming from - sometimes I get all self-conscious too. But then I just think "What the heck?"
In all honesty - the people that look at you wil, at most, give you a cursory glance and then go about their own business. They might be impressed that a big guy will put on trunks and go in the water - but chances are they'll forget you within a few seconds of seeing you. Unless you're a Speedo or banana sling kind of guy.
Glad to hear you're going to challenge your fear. Much more courageous than me.
My thing is I really want to go kayaking, but it'll be quite a long while before I do that, I think.
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